Plan B is the new Plan A
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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