it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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