he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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