just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
