Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
