I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
