if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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