One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
