how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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