So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
