I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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