So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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