I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
