She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
