u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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