I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
