Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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