Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
God, I missed his penis.
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