Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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