whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sext me about skeletons
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
