how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
