id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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