The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
