Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
