Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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