Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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