Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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