My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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