Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
