Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
