I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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