they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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