I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
