what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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