Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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