Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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