A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
