GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
