i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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