I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
