dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
