I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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