he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
