man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
