My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
