I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
