She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it was like eating out sand paper
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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