Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
