i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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