just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
