the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
