you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
