Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
